The other day I was in the company of a man I barely knew. I can count the number of times we have met on one hand and barely need two for the number of hours we have spent together. Our relationship is most aptly categorized as “professional.” The environment we were in was the same, albeit quite casual. He said to me, “I might not be around in February, I will have to let you know. The boyfriend and I are traveling to…”
I bet I flinched. But why? I have not problem with non-hetero sexuality, and I consider myself a supporter (I cannot claim Ally status, as I believe that is reserved for those actively engaged in forwarding the rights of the LGBTQ community). So I should have no reaction, right?
Wrong. I flinched (or at least fear I might have), because where I am from it is unheard of for non heterosexual people to so openly and offhandedly disclose their sexuality. It just does not happen. Where I am from homosexuality is not normal. Or so our society makes it seem. What is normal anyways?
I believe homosexuality is normal. Gay is normal. I flinched not because I cared about his sexuality either way, but because heteronormativity told me his action was abnormal. Take a moment to think about how heteronormative our culture is. When we ask someone if they are seeing someone, we assume that person to be of the opposite sex. When we go to a singles event, it is by default a heterosexual event unless specifically labeled LGBTQ. We talk of marriage as if it is part of the normal progression of life, but for many it is a legal impossibility unless extra steps are taken.
Face it, gay is normal – whether our heteronormative recognize it or not. When we fail to accept this fact we make ourselves look ignorant and foolish. And we hurt good people in the process. Right now there is a “debate” about gay rights, but in reality it is more like a “denial.”
Same Love came out last July before Referendum 74 in Washington. I have been listening to it for a while now, but the other day it just hit me: this song is representative of so much power. Power in those who wish to oppress people’s rights. Power in stereotypes. Power in expectations. Power in generalization. But more importantly, power in freedom. Power in justice. Power in equality. Power in youth. We will not take it anymore. We will not back down. Change is coming. I know it, because I know us. This will happen.
When I was in the 3rd grade
I thought that I was gay
Cause I could draw, my uncle was
And I kept my room straight
I told my mom, tears rushing down my face
She’s like, “Ben, you’ve loved girls since before Pre-K!”
Tripping, yeah, I guess she had a point, didn’t she?
A bunch of stereotypes all in my head
I remember doing the math, like
“Yeah, I’m good at little league”
A pre-conceived idea of what it all meant
For those that like the same sex had the characteristics…
We are a generation. We are coming.
Not the Lesbian.
Not the Gay.
Not the Bisexual.
Not the Transgender.
Not the Queer.
Not the Questioning.
Not the Intersexual.
Not the Asexual.
Not the Ally.
Not the Pansexual, Omnisexual, Trisexual, Transvestite, Polyamourus. Not the other Stereotypes, Labels, Categories, Definitions.
We are coming. ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRZWXYZ. All. Everyone.
One Love. Same Love.