Work today, settling for a Subway dinner. Found out that since I don’t have a vehicle and I cannot afford $100-200 a month on entertainment I also cannot join a social group that does all kinds of fun things. The Public Commentary session on Washington’s transportation system was moved without my knowing and I had to walk all around. I accidentally signed up to give commentary – I thought I was just showing my support why adding my name to that list. Whoops. Oh well, I left early anyway.
I don’t know why, but I decided to just walk a while instead of heading straight home. No reason, just following a feelin’.
I plan to head towards the bus then maybe walk a stop or two. As I stroll down Madison I stop suddenly aware of the beauty of Seattle nights. I haven’t been downtown at night much, usually just flying down 4th on my way home after volunteering in Columbia City. It…tranquil. Not something I would say about cities usually, but this is not New York. This city sleeps. People still meander about and traffic still rolls by, but everything is calmer. Slower. Almost relaxing. The glow of the lights, the bounce in my step, the awe I feel staring up at these monoliths, testaments to man’s ingenuity. I know it is coming. It is one of those nights.
Not abnormally, the Script sets it off. “No Words.” It’s as if life has suddenly come to a crawl. My heartbeat slows. The lights suddenly blaze. The cool night air through my lungs accompanies every step. Everything is in order. Everything is right.
I don’t have a plan, but somewhere I never think about where to go – I already know. I find myself in a small garden and in front of an artistic scene. I wish I had a nice camera to capture the beauty, but I settle for my phone. Somewhere a thought sneaks out: “do you really have to capture this? can’t you just enjoy it?” I step aside, I let it pass. It doesn’t bother me. I do what I want, and therefore it is correct. I snap a scene. I keep walking, still without direction.
Hm, a quote on this rock in the middle of steps. What? Interesting, I agree. Thinking about the climate now, but also people. A few steps more – names. Names on a wall. I see no markings, no explanations. Just names. And “present” below the water. I slowly proceed, as if a revelation lies just a step further. But it does not. It is as I knew, names on a wall. Names. War.
Hate. Violence. Intolerance. Death.
But also love. So much love.
Do you think they watch us? Do you think they know? Can they hear us. Can he hear me?
I feel the swelling and drop to my knees. Just a wall. Yet swirling with life. An aura envelops me, and I am in another world. I think how funny it must look to passersby. A kid kneeling, headphones on, in an empty park, facing a cold wall. But they don’t know – it’s not cold. It is warm, and it is not empty. They are there, every one of them. They always have been.
It’s not everyday we can experience something beyond ourselves, something outside of our usual understanding. We cherish it, because in those moments we are wise. Although we know no more, we understand. We feel…and we accept. Things are as they are, and that is enough.
Call it clarity.
Call it spirituality.
Call it revelation.
Call it God.
Call it what you will, we all have our names. But its universal.
I call it Soul.