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I am really struggling with college right now.  Part of it is academic: I do not like my classes, and I am not very good at what I need to do.  Part of it is social: I do not like being the oldest, and a lot of my best friends are no longer at Gettysburg.  Part of it is personal: I am easily annoyed and frustrated by both people and classes.  Part of it is practical:  I could be devoting a lot of time to things I need and value, such as networking and reading about transportation, but instead I am spending copious amounts of time struggling to research fish and write papers on mole crabs.  As if I care…

I cannot wait to be done with college, and everyday it is getting harder to pull myself together and focus enough to get done what I need to do.  I do not think I have ever been genuinely worried that I will do miserably in a class, but that is different this semester.  In one class I put in countless hours and do poorly on my group papers, and in another my project appears to be falling through completely.  Tonight I should have done a lot of work, and I honestly tried, but I just could not focus because I feel like I am going nowhere. Ugh…

At the Alumni Mentor Retreat last weekend one alumni had a great insight into doing things that do not fit your style. “You can probably get the job and maybe even do it well for a while, but it is going to take a lot of energy. Eventually you are probably going to get burnt out.”

I feel burnt out.

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