I am sitting here in Musselman Library, at a table in the middle of the first floor, crying. I should have known this would happen. I only write about Poppop on rare occasions, but when I do I can never fight back the tears. Today I was writing some essay responses for why I want to participate in 4k For Cancer, and it just hit me. Originally, I did not want to do this program. I did not want to talk about cancer. I just wanted to go on a cross-country adventure. Although it lacked some of the adventure of forging my own path, I thought I might apply anyway. After all, I could compromise with this program: less adventure for less planning much higher affordability.
But not anymore. I cannot sit down and write about him without a handful of tissues. Perhaps this is the right thing for me. Riding solo would be an exercise in personal development and self-understanding, but so too can 4k For Cancer. Maybe it will not be all about the “adventure.” Maybe it will be about coming to terms with my own story.